Stubborn?

Are you stubborn? 

We all recognize stubbornness in kids when they dig their little heels in and won’t do what they’re asked to do. This can lead to yelling, screaming, crying, or laying down in the aisle of the grocery store and having a full-on tantrum because Mom won’t buy the breakfast cereal with two cups of sugar in the box.

We easily see stubbornness in kids, but do we see it in ourselves? Others do! Let’s think about a few examples:

The Digger Approach: This person proclaims their opinion to be a fact when in reality it’s only partially right – or totally wrong. That’s where the adult version of a child digging in their heels comes in. When contradicted about it, this technique leads to doubling down and getting defensive. And louder. And if the truth be told, embarrassment, but having too much pride to admit they are wrong, it escalates this person right into a corner for everyone to see, making it much worse than it ever needed to be and (bonus!) last even longer.

The Selfish Approach: When someone’s perspective is all about themselves – getting what they want, when they want it, at the temperature they want it, in the color they want (you get the picture) – I’ll just say it. That’s what a baby does! They don’t get that it’s someone else’s turn, or that there’s anything else in the universe more important than what they want at the moment. That’s a primal instinct that babies need to get food and their survival needs met. The adult version is feeling entitlement and arrogance over others. If what they want doesn’t happen, it’s usually followed by whining, pouting – even crying! If you’re over five years old, you should have outgrown this stage. Grow up and share instead!

The “I’ve Made Myself Miserable So I’m Going to Make Everyone Else Miserable Too” Approach: This is the adult version of the full-on grocery store tantrum. When kids do it, even though we’re seven aisles away, the sound waves carry it all over the store – much like the adult equivalent. The process starts like this. Something happens that this person doesn’t like – however they were the cause. They made a choice that led to consequences like these:

• Playing with “fire” and getting burned.
• Neglecting their health and it’s caused problems that could have been avoided.
• Seeing things go in the wrong direction and staying on the same path anyway, or
• Not dealing with an addiction and ending up getting arrested or going to jail.

The next part in the process leads to behavior like this: blaming anything and everyone except themself, spreading their misery to others, and alienating family, friends, and co-workers.

All three of these stubborn approaches are unhealthy cycles that need to change to avoid damage that can last a lifetime. The Holy Bible has timeless wisdom about stubbornness, showing us this is nothing new:

For The Digger: Proverbs 12:15 says, “A stubborn fool considers his own way the right one, but the person who listens to advice is wise.”

For The Selfish: Philippians 2:3–4 (NASB) says, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.“

For The Misery Makers: Psalm 32:9 doesn’t hold back and says, “Do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding, but must be controlled by bit and bridle.“

The stubbornness of the heart towards God can reap the most serious consequence of all. Romans 2:5 says, “Because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God’s wrath, when His righteous judgment will be revealed.“

I believe God teaches us according to our willingness to learn. If you haven’t yet experienced that His way is best, begin following Him and see for yourself. Then put your stubbornness to work for good! Channel all that energy into things that make a positive change and stick to THAT instead!

RESET HIGHER: If someone close to you would say you’re stubborn (but you won’t admit or accept it), you probably are 😉 Observe your life from an objective point of view to see what needs to change and ask for God to help you do it!