Icebreakers

Different personalities fascinate me. I grew up amongst mostly reserved people, but I gravitate toward “big personalities.” I like when people are genuine. They’re realistic about their lives and aren’t afraid to own mistakes and talk about challenges. They’re also fun to be around because they carry less negativity! Over the years I’ve learned to become more this way myself. I find that when I’m real with people, it invites them to be real with me too.

Recently, I was on a business call with a colleague and as the conversation went on, we went off-topic a bit to talk about our actual lives, not just work. His wife recently passed away and I asked how he and his family were doing. I shared about how my best friend passed away two years ago from the same illness and it opened a little window between us. We had something big and life-changing in common. Because we were both open to share a bit about it, there was an exchange of trust that opened the window a little more.

We continued to talk a few minutes about how life can be difficult and how important it is to keep going and make the right choices. Then he also shared the fact that he had been molested as a child. He now volunteers with a men’s group to help others with the same experience navigate through the aftermath and scars it left behind for them. Things like questioning their masculinity and sexuality. Some had contemplated suicide and others actually did. It was isolation that made it even worse.

Then he said something about reaching people that we all need to hear: 

“Sometimes all it takes is an icebreaker. I’m usually the icebreaker.”

He, and people like him, are heros. They’re brave enough to share their difficult stories knowing others may have cruel and unkind things to say about them – even though they were an innocent child and the victim of a crime. They do it anyway because offering kindness and strength to help someone get through what they have been through is worth it. I also have a female friend who is this kind of hero.

When we isolate ourselves after trauma, it can compound and make things worse. It did for me after I saw my Dad die of a heart attack when I was 15. 

In 1 Corinthians 12:25-26, the apostle Paul talks about how God’s design is that we believe in His Son Jesus Christ and become joined together as part of one body, all in this life together:

“…that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”      

When we share with others who are in the same pain we have gone through, we bring light into the dark so they can see they’re not alone. We can share strength and heal together. Then the grip it had on us can finally be released by acknowledging the truth and dealing with it in a healthy way.

I thank God for giving courage to icebreakers like my friends who open a path for people trapped in a very hard place. Their delivery of kindness, hope, and truth can save lives and be the beginning of a better future.

RESET HIGHER: How can you be an icebreaker? How can your story help others? Ask God to give you courage and lead you to find someone who is hurting today. And tomorrow…