Extra

Is being “extra” always better? 

Does feeling entitled give someone the right to be served by others as if they’re a little royal, or are they just a brat?

Is being high maintenance cute or just annoying?

There’s a lot of this going on, so let’s think about it.

Changing our personal appearance and following trends and fashion is fun when that’s all it is – fun that you don’t take too seriously. For guys, it’s more about things like going to the gym, cars and “toys.” When it crosses the line and becomes something that controls you, makes decisions for you, or is the source of your self-esteem, there’s an exchange that’s made. You can lose YOU in the process! 

Back in the day, I grew up reading magazines like Vogue, Glamour, Mademoiselle, and Seventeen. For guys it was GQ and Sports Illustrated. It was before the internet took over and delivered a constant stream of photos and videos of beautiful people and expensive clothes/makeup/skin care/hair products/jewelry/cars and more. The message is the same today as it was then: this – not that – is better and without it you are “less than.” 

As someone who comes from the world of advertising and marketing, I can tell you that’s a lie and the ones doing the lying know it’s a lie. It’s one of the oldest tricks in the book for manufacturers hyping their brands to sell you their products – because we fall for it! Do we really think a $700 pencil skirt, $1200 designer shoes, or a $4000 handbag will change our lives so much that we’ll spend that kind of money? How about half an ounce of $120 “age-defying” skin cream? I can tell you that a true difference can be made in someone’s life – by taking the same $6020 and giving it to a family who’s struggling to buy groceries and pay their bills!   

But I digress. Or have I just said some things that needed to be said?

The “dark side” of being extra can be a sense of entitlement that affects someone’s behavior and relationships when they believe that being prettier, or younger-looking, or a certain body shape and weight comes with additional rights. By being your own fantasy celebrity, you can pretend to be “more than” a person who doesn’t wear a certain brand or drive a certain car or look a certain way. However… the root cause is often the opposite of what it appears to be. Having a desperate need for high confidence through outside things is often driven by high insecurity inside. All the bling is a mirage trying to cover what’s really going on. Sometimes it’s so obvious that we all can see that something’s “off.” Money can’t buy happiness. It isn’t for sale. Happiness is actually free and a choice. Try giving money away to bless someone else instead and find true happiness come back to you.

WARNING: Moment of extreme honesty just ahead. This morning I went outside in my bathrobe to let my dog Buddy out. I caught a glimpse of my winter white legs and had two thoughts at once. “Wow. They are really white!” and “That’s unacceptable. I need to get a tan again as soon as possible!” 

Then I thought about that thought. In the moment, I changed my perspective and instead thought about how the natural me is how I was designed to be. I’m Swedish for crying out loud! This is the color we come in! 

King David had all that riches could buy, but looked at his life with a higher perspective. He wrote this prayer of thanks to God in Psalm 139:13-18a (New Living Testament):

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body, and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 

Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it. 

You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. 

You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book. Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed. 

How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! 

I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand!”

Being ”extra” can be fun once in a while and I’m all about that, but guess what? You’re already awesome. One-of-kind. You wear a suit created by the Master Designer Himself. It’s priceless and made just for you.

RESET HIGHER: As with everything in life, we need balance. Take care of yourself. Be the best YOU, you can be!

If you’re a little extra (or a lot ;), ask yourself, “Who am I trying to impress?” “Why?” “Can I redirect some of my habits into healthier choices for myself – and others?” Only you can answer these questions for yourself, so be honest and choose wisely.