People have different personalities and it’s no different when it comes to their “stuff.”
- Some hoard stuff – never wanting to let things go.
- Some save more stuff than they should – to be frugal or “just in case.”
- Some believe expensive possessions make them feel better about themselves.
- Some use things for a while, then easily give them away, or throw them out.
- Some are minimalists and live in “tiny houses“ with as little stuff as possible.
Our relationship to our possessions has a major impact on our lives.
When I was in my early 20s, I moved across the country into my first apartment with my roommate, Sheree. We had sung in a traveling group and after our tours ended, we both decided to move to California.
Here’s what I hauled across the country to our apartment: my drafting table, art supplies, a stereo with four-foot high speakers, record albums, books, clothes, a hairdryer, curling iron, and make-up. That’s it! She bought some furniture at a garage sale and eventually I got a bed and I didn’t have to sleep on the floor anymore. We also must’ve had some dishes and a pan or two, because we didn’t starve to death. We had everything we needed, and nothing more. In fact, we were thrilled to not be living out of our suitcases on the road – with far less!
Like me, you probably have a similar story about your first place away from home. When you think of that time, do you remember all the things you didn’t have – or do you remember the people and the fun you had together?
As all of us got older, we found jobs and began to afford not only what we needed, but what we wanted. For many, that’s when “stuff “began to accumulate – like trendy clothes and cute shoes. Our closets began to fill up; we bought furniture, and maybe even an appliance or two. The next time we moved, we couldn’t just make multiple trips using our car. We had to rent a U-Haul and get help from friends.
Then for many came marriage, children, and feathering the nest. With more people came more stuff. Lots more! As time marched on, every year saw more bags of it come through the door and find a place to stay. For single people too, things began to pile up. The problem began when there were less bags going out than coming in.
What’s Your Kryptonite?
Each of us has at least one category of stuff that has a strange power to make us weak and compel us to save it. It may be:
Books you’ve already read, will never read again, or never read at all.
Clothes that don’t fit, are worn out, or so old they’ve gone out of style.
Knickknacks and decorations that have taken over and now mainly serve as dust traps.
Collections that began with a memory or an event, then grew out of control (especially when friends and family added to it). Does anyone really need 117 pairs of owl salt and pepper shakers?
General Clutter like paperwork, old magazines, stacks of laundry, unfinished projects, or ____________ (fill in the blank).
Perishables like food, medicine, or make-up beyond their expiration dates.
Gifts you’ve received and have pre-guilt even thinking about getting rid of them!
Family Memories and things once owned by relatives who have passed away.
Oooooo, that last one is particularly tough, isn’t it?
Your Grandma may have gotten some cheap dishes with coupons or trading stamps at the grocery store in 1957, but could never have imagined them as a “treasure” anyone would save after she passed. They served a purpose and that was enough for her. But you still have them and can’t seem to let go of them.
Letting Go of “The Pig”
I remember seeing this dilemma played out on a TV show where a crew came in to help organize and sort a family’s clutter into three separate piles: keep, toss, or donate. Everything was going pretty well until the big burly husband had to confront something that belonged to his mother. It was a homemade box on wheels with a lid, covered in a funky 1970s harvest gold and avocado green patterned vinyl. Inside was a pink canister vacuum cleaner they had nicknamed “the pig.” I’m sure my reaction was like everyone else watching: “What! Are you crazy? Throw that ugly old thing out – it probably doesn’t even work!” But that old vacuum cleaner made that big macho man cry.
You see, it’s the memories we have of the person – not the “stuff “itself – that makes it hard to let go of. Ironically, it’s in letting things go that we learn to keep what’s most important. The memories live on in our hearts.
What Will Be at Your Estate Sale?
I actually think about this quite a bit, especially after having an estate sale for my Mom’s things after she went to Heaven. Since I’m the last leaf on my family tree, I have no one to pass family treasures on to. It’s made me think differently about what I buy and choose to keep.
Here are some questions I ponder:
What if the material things I leave behind outnumber the good deeds I’ve done, or the number of people I’ve helped?
What if the money I spent on “cute stuff” was instead given to someone without money to feed their children?
What if I gave away what I don’t use to someone who really needs it, like victims of a natural disaster? We recently saw this in California with the LA wildfires and the outpouring of giving that helped supply critical needs to those who had suddenly lost – everything!
Changing our relationship to “stuff” can change our lives for the better. When we let go, we declutter our life and find it can be lighter….more organized…more productive…and happier! Another bonus is the feeling you get when you give. It always beats the feeling of getting. Let’s all give it a try.
RESET HIGHER: Take a walk through your home and try to see your things objectively. Do you own them, or do they own you? Do you spend more time cleaning and maintaining instead of enjoying what you have? Do you have the right amount or too much? How many plastic storage tubs contain things you’ll truly never use again?
Why not empty three of them and start your own keep, toss, and donate habit?
